Money is a taboo topic in the mainstream western culture, but it’s the most important topic in the world. Many gay men dream of having a knight in shining armor pay every bill. But do you know what happens after your Prince Charming sweeps you off your feet? Truthfully, the person who pays every bill also calls the shots.
Money and respect
Your husband won’t respect you 100% unless you can actually stand on your own two feet financially. Yes, if you give up your independence and financially rely on a man, you will have fewer choices in your life. This isn’t something that people want to hear, but I have to be honest with you.
Maintaining your financial independence also means maintaining full ownership of yourself. When you work hard and work smart, you make money which allows you to have the ability to choose the way you would like to be treated – that brings dignity.
Now I’d like to talk about how a man feels about his gay partner when his partner depends on him financially. He would feel that his partner is an added responsibility rather than an asset. Consequently, he will stop seeing his partner as a privilege to be with.
Having said that, not every gay couple operate in this way. Some couples have kids to take care of. For example, Frank and Steve are a couple with a son. Frank’s responsibility is to go to work every day, whereas Steve’s responsibility is to look after their son at home. This works pretty well for them because Frank can see Steve’s contribution to the household.
In most cases, everyone needs to be financially independent in order to be happy in relationships. Let me explain.
When you have money, you keep your power. If you decide to leave your husband, you can grab a suitcase and leave. This possibility makes your husband not want you to leave him.
Once you give up your career, your husband feels trapped as now you’ve become a responsibility instead of a privilege. Your husband may feel that he is stuck now because he has to pay for everything for two people. Sooner or later, he will feel the extra pressure and the doubled obligation of supporting himself as well as you.
A switched-on gay man will maintain his independence and actively contribute to the relationship / marriage, as his pride will not allow him to be considered a burden on his partner / husband.
When your partner knows that your dignity is more important, he will respect you more. This is true even if you are dating a very rich and successful man. Your partner needs to know that if he doesn’t treat you right, you will leave without hesitation because you can.
Stand on your own
When a guy financially supports his gay partner entirely, the following scenarios can happen:
- He will begin to see his partner as a little boy. When he views his partner as a little boy that he needs to look after (like a little brother), the passion Who wants to make love to his own brother? Nobody.
- He will start to feel “locked in” or trapped in a hopeless
Therefore, it can be seen that it’s very important to maintain your financial independence in a gay relationship.
The ability to make your own choices in your life is the most important tool that you can have because it’s the very factor that gives you true power in life.
When you give up your financial independence, your partner will begin to think he is entitled to the last word and have control over your sadness and happiness. Worse still, you will be treated as if you are the subordinate and he is the boss in this gay relationship.
Every relationship has to be a win-win situation in order to continue in the long term. This includes business partnerships, friendships and marriages. When one person feels the other person is not adding value to the relationship, the relationship is already in trouble and will end sooner or later because the other person won’t be respected anymore.
That being said, it doesn’t mean your marriage is in danger if your husband is paying most of the bills in the household. In fact, your husband doesn’t need to feel it’s 100% equal; he only needs to see it’s reciprocal. I mean it’s a matter of whether you are able to stand on your own two feet if push comes to shove.
In a gay marriage, the ability to financially support yourself can make sure that the following elements will stay intact: 1) the sexual desire; 2) the longevity of this marriage; 3) the respect; 4) the mental challenge / the perceived challenge. Note that financial neediness is the same as emotional neediness in many ways.
Your sexiness can pull your partner in, but it is your independence that keeps your partner turned on all the time.
Focus on yourself
The more independent you are of your partner, the more interested he will become. That’s the truth – instead of asking your partner to focus on you, you should focus on yourself.
When you think you need to bring more mental challenge to your gay relationship so that the dynamics can become more interesting and stimulating, you can begin to focus on yourself – spend time enjoying your hobbies, get a new haircut, read new books, take a class that you are interested in, build a new social circle, start a new business, etc. All of these will make your gay partner pay more attention to you because you are clearly growing.
Further, you can change your routine. Let’s say you always work from Monday to Friday in the day time and watch TV at night; you read books on Saturday and going to the gym on Sunday. Now I’d like you to alter your routine – next week you’ll listen to the music at night from Monday to Friday, go to a dance class on Saturday and write blog articles on Sunday. This change will make your gay partner more attracted to you because the mental challenge is renewed! Please note that when you change your availability or a predictable routine, this change will mentally pull your partner back in.
If your partner disrespects you, you must punish his bad behavior. Never give a reward for bad behavior! This is the most important principle that you have to know in gay dating and relationships.
Furthermore, a good sense of humor is the most helpful tool in gay marriages. When you are laughing, everything seems to be a bit easier. Indeed, once you begin laughing, you begin healing. What’s more, you can always get away with saying much more with a good sense of humor than you can get with a grumpy face.
When you are always happy, you look sexier because happiness is extremely attractive.