Impact in a gay bar: The ultimate guide to influence

When you go to a gay bar in a random city, you may wonder how you can have new friends and influence people immediately, right? Now let’s see how this can be done fast. Real gay guide.

Sunbeam smile

As a gay traveler, you naturally want to smile at everyone you meet in a gay club because you would like to have new friends. But that’s not the best strategy in this regard.

As a matter of fact, you would be well-advised to maintain a moderate smile most of the time, and then when you meet someone you actually like, your smile becomes as gorgeous as the sunshine in New Zealand.

In this way, you will have a much better impact because if you give a big smile to everyone, your smile doesn’t look special anymore. However, when you give a moderate smile to most people, you look polite. And when you give a big smile to someone you are attracted to, he will begin to see you as someone special.go to a gay bar

I call this strategy “sunbeam smile”.

Leil Lowndes, author of How to Talk to Anyone: 92 little tricks for big success in relationships, coined the term “flood smile” which is a bit similar to my strategy. In her book, Leil describes this smile like this: “First, you start to smile from your mouth. Then, your eyes begin to smile as well. Finally, the smile becomes a flood on your entire face.”

She is a genius!

A lot of gay travelers have tried this technique and they really loved it. So, I think it may help you as well.

Electrifying handshake

If you go to a gay pub with someone you’ve met via the best gay travel app, perhaps your friend will introduce you to someone new in the venue. Now you are supposed to shake hands with this person.

Don’t do a half-arse handshake, please. That’s definitely counterproductive. Instead, you should do an electrifying handshake. Let me explain.

Always make sure your hands are fully moisturized – each time when you finish washing your hands, you would be well-advised to use some hand cream. Personally, I keep a jar of Nivea cream at home. And when I travel, I keep a tube of Jurlique hand cream in my bag. It is said that many flight attendants prefer Jurlique hand cream.

Also, I get my nails done every fortnight, so my hands look really pretty. This is a part of my grooming and preparation before I go out.

So, whenever I meet someone hot, I’m always ready for a cool travel

More importantly, I give them an electrifying handshake, not only because my hands are soft and beautiful, but also because I touch their pulse while shaking hands with them.

In this way, that sexy dude can feel the temperature of my body (and I can feel his as well). Meanwhile, my hand lingers for 0.1 second when I finish shaking hands with him.

That’s called “electrifying handshake”. My roommate taught me this technique many years ago when I was at university. I don’t know where he learned that from.

Anyway, I’ve been using this technique every time I go to a gay bar, and it works very well every single time.

Intense eye contact

Note that this technique only applies to western countries, meaning if you meet someone from the western culture, you should always maintain eye contact with them. But if you meet someone from the eastern culture, maybe this isn’t a very good idea.

As far as I know, people from Asian countries don’t think maintaining eye contact is a polite thing to do, so they tend to avoid eye contact oftentimes. Therefore, if you go to a gay club in Asia, maybe you shouldn’t look at someone in the eyes all the time.

Since my favorite places in the world are all in the West, I tend to maintain intense eye contact with gay men that I meet in gay pubs, and this has helped me a lot.

Dating Coach Liam McRae has coined this term “hellfire eye contact” in his first book Rapid Escalation. I think it’s hilarious. Furthermore, author G. L. Lambert also coined the term “eye f*ck” – Basically, they are both talking about intense eye contact – very sexual and sexy.

If you prefer a sexually charge experience in a gay bar, you should totally try this club

By the way, I personally wear eye liner and mascara when I’m in a gay club because eye makeup suits the ambience quite well, in my opinion.

As I see it, eye shadow isn’t for me because I prefer eye cream which protects my skin (eye shadow is too heavy for my eye lids).

Many gay travelers wear makeup, and it’s perfectly fine to keep some makeup in the luggage.

My favorite eye liner is Clinique Pretty Easy Liquid Eye-lining Pen – it’s very easy to use. My favorite mascara is Estee Lauder Sumptuous Extreme Lash Multiplying Volume Mascara – it’s perfect for gay travelers because it’s not too heavy (I mean the tube is small & the makeup isn’t heavy at all).

As to eye cream, my favorite is Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Eye Supercharged Complex Synchronized Recovery (15ml) – it’s light and effective. After using this eye cream for two months, my eyes look ten years younger (and I’m not exaggerating!)

Please note that this isn’t an ad for any product; this is just my personal experiences and recommendation. Actually, many gay tourists agree with me.

I have realized that whenever I wear eye makeup, my intense eye contact works even better. My little secret is adding some MAC glitter to my eye lids – that is really magnificent: as I’m moving my eyes, other gay men can see the beauty of my eyes without even paying close attention.


When it comes to having the ideal impact, I have a formula:

education + entertainment = impact

I didn’t make this up. Frankly, I figured it out by reading tons of books and learning from my mentors as well as my own experiences in life.

When this theory is applied to gay travel, it can be seen that intelligent and funny conversations in a gay club are tremendously helpful: I’ve met a lot of high-value gay men in this way already.

Everyone enjoys funny conversations. Intelligent men enjoy intelligent conversations. As a result, whenever I have an intelligent and funny conversation with a man in a gay pub, we hit it off club in Asia

It’s not an accident; it’s science: people want to be with those who have good impact.

Now you may want to ask me how I am able to have intelligent and funny conversations all the time. Well, the answer is simple (but it’s not easy):

I read a book per week. That means every year, I read 52 books. As a professional gay traveler, I make a living by writing about my trips online. Hence, my luggage includes a laptop, a capsule wardrobe and a Kindle device.

On my Kindle, there are more than 700 books. I’ve had this Kindle for many years and it’s totally worth it because now I don’t have to bring 20 traditional books with me each time I get on the plane.

Because of my knowledge, I can have intelligent conversations. Because of my personality, I can have funny conversations. I’m glad that I’m able to combine them together.


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