I’m proud of my homosexuality because I know the majority of gay men are intelligent and talented. For example, I have many gay friends who are successful fashion designers, photographers, models and artists.
I am a member of a book club where there are a large number of gay guys. Here we always discuss interesting topics that we’ve read and considered. Now I’d like to share a list of helpful books that you may find useful.
Gay fashion and grooming
- Dressing the Man: Mastering the Art of Permanent Fashion (by Alan Flusser)This book is best characterized by taste and style (very important to gay pride). It’s written by an elegant author who knows what he is talking about. Alan Flusser points out that dressing well pivots on 2 pillars: color and proportion.Fashion is changing every season, but the shape of your face, the height of your neck, the width of your shoulders, the length of your arms, the structure of your torso and the size of your feet generally remain constant over time. Therefore, as long as a gay guy knows how to use the principles of permanent fashion to his complexion and physique, he is on the right track.
- Men and Style: Essays, Interviews, and Considerations (by David Coggins)
A gay traveler recommended this book to me when I was in Italy. He says Italian men know how to dress well & gay men in Italy dress even better, so I might as well learn a thing or two before leaving Italy. And he is absolutely right.
Honestly, I feel very lucky because I implemented some tips in this book when I was in Italy and I felt great! Because external confidence also boosts internal confidence, I hooked up several high-value gay guys in Italy.
This book taught me a wealth of information from the world’s most notable tastemakers in the fashion industry. Thus, it’s the ultimate gay fashion book, in my opinion.
Contemporary personal development
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (by Mark Manson)
As I’m typing this article right now, I just came back from an event called Breakfast with Mark Manson. Yup, I met Mark today.
Although Mark Manson isn’t gay (he is married to a Brazilian woman), I find his writing extremely enlightening. Please let me explain.
This book is about values. It’s about paying attention to things that matter and stop caring about things that don’t matter.
Frankly, most things in life don’t even matter. As Gary Vaynerchuk famously said, “99% of things in life don’t even matter.” And he is actually right.
If Mark Manson wrote a book about values, then most people wouldn’t want to read it. But his book has a provocative title, so it’s become a New York Times Best-seller.
Although I don’t think having a clickbait as a title of a book is ideal, I find this book quite helpful because it has taught me things in an entertaining way – the content is more memorable, practical and enjoyable.
Many gay travelers that I’ve met have this book in their luggage.
- Everything is F*cked: A Book about Hope (by Mark Manson)
This is a new book written by Mark Manson and it’s a bit different from his previous book in this series.
This new book is more about modern western culture and society, whereas his previous book is more about self-help. Anyway, both books are very useful if you are a gay tourist navigating in this modern world.
I’ve recommended this book to a lot of gay tourists who came to my city this year (We met each other via the best gay travel app and then we decided to catch up in person).
According to Mark Manson, people from wealthier and safer countries are more likely to suffer from mental problems such as anxiety and depression. The suicide rate has become higher and higher recently, especially after 2011 and 2012.
If we look at the statistics closely, we will realize that iPhone has made people miserable; social media is bad for mental health; information explosion is a cause of stress.
After attending today’s event and reading this book, I have learned something really important: There is a reason why gay couples’ relationships are more sustainable than straight couples’ relationship. Let me explain.
I’m not saying gay couples’ relationships are better than straight couples’ relationships. What I’m actually saying is statistics show that gay couples are less likely to break up than straight couples.
Obviously, there are more straight people than gay people in the world, so a straight individual has more options when it comes to dating and relationships. And when someone has more options, they appreciate their options less, according to Mark Manson.
In other words, more options actually lead to less satisfaction in whatever you choose, including the partner you choose.
Moreover, social media gives us more connectivity which actually leads to greater loneliness. That’s exactly why I don’t really use social media much & I prefer using the best gay travel app where I can meet real friends.
Mark Manson argues that the bargain of social media is people traded in a few high-quality relationships for having lots of low-quality relationships, and that’s harmful for happiness and mental health.
Research shows that in 1985 when people were asked “How many people in your life can you tell a personal secret to?”, most people said “3 people”. In contrast, when the same question was asked in 2014, most people said, “0”.
Hence, I believe that gay travel is a positive activity in every way – when we are traveling, we meet real people in real life rather than scrolling down the screen of our smart phones.
Gay travel and fun
- Eat, Pray, Love (by Elizabeth Gilbert)
Though this book is written from a woman’s perspective, lots of gay tourists have found it valuable because the wisdom in this book is universal.
It’s very relatable, especially you are a gay traveler circumnavigating the world.
If you are a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert, you may also want to read her non-fiction book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear which is about why someone can make their creativity blossom – because it’s important to them enough, they will find time to make it happen.
- 50 States, 5,000 Ideas: Where to Go, When to Go, What to See, What to Do (by National Geographic and Joe Yogerst)
For those who would like to visit North America, this is the only gay travel book they need – it’s a richly illustrated book from experts at National Geographic.
I still remember a photographer from National Geographic had a romantic encounter when he was in the countryside of the United States where he met an Italian woman (okay, that’s the story from Bridges of Madison County). What I’m trying to say is travel is the fast-track to romance.
A lot of gay tourists found their life partners when they were traveling the world, and you can do it, too!