Speaking of conquering early relationship problems, our gay dating expert has something to say. Ms. Jade Seashell states that the beginning of a relationship is paramount. And have you experienced any of these below?
Friend or family interference
If you just came out and your family / friends can’t accept it, you may experience some friends or family interference when you start dating men. When you have a problem with friends, it’s a bit easier to manage because friends can always move on. But when you have a problem with your family members, that’s much harder to deal with.
Truthfully, family interference has to be confronted head on, not brushed under the carpet. If your family can’t accept your true sexuality, my suggestion is you should still respect your family, but meanwhile, you must love yourself first. Let me explain.
You are only human, so you can only do so much. You have tried your best to make sure your family members are happy. But if they still don’t understand you, you must realize that you are the most important person in the universe. If you sacrifice your happiness in order to make your family happy, they won’t be happy in the long term because your happiness is the ultimate gift from you to them. That’s my honest opinion.
Let’s say your parents told you not to be gay, but you are actually gay because you can’t choose or control your sexuality. If you pretend to be straight and marry a woman, your parents will be happy for several years maximum. After that, you won’t have a relationship with your parents because their expectation has made you miserable. Consequently, your parents won’t be happy in the future.
However, if you are honest with yourself and your family, you have to tell everyone that you can’t choose your DNA – although you want to make your parents happy and marry a woman & have kids, your DNA has other plans and that’s not something that you can control. If your parents truly love you, they will understand this and accept who you really are. If they still can’t accept this fact, you have to accept their lack of acceptance, and just move on.
If your gay partner’s family members don’t respect you, you have to stand up and put an end to their lack of respect the moment it happens. The moment a guy fails to come to your aid in dealing with his family or friends, then there is nothing to be handled as he has proved to lack the true heart of a guy you can marry one day. You didn’t give up on him; he gave up on you – you have to accept this uncomfortable truth.
The whole process of finding true love is about being fearless on the best gay app in 2020. Whenever there is family / friend interference, you must go to those sources and find out what’s really going on. Make sure that whoever it is, they will not interfere with your true happiness and love life.
Different plans / goals
An empowered man always puts his interests and goals ahead of a relationship. Rather than waiting to see what your gay partner wakes up in the morning and decides your future, you’d better decide for yourself what this gay relationship, or any future relationship, is worth sacrificing.
Sometimes, your partner’s move can lead to you making an even bigger and better move. When that kind of opportunities arises, you must take it. For example, Alex and Andrew are a couple from Birmingham, the United Kingdom. Alex wanted to move to London, and Andrew said yes to that idea. Here’s Andrew’s philosophy: “If it’s about my life, not playing the romantic partner, then I’m ahead of the curve as I am already mentally prepared to cut him off and still thrive in my new location because London is definitely better than Birmingham for my industry.” In other words, Andrew doesn’t rely on his relationship with Alex, although they actually love each other. If Alex doesn’t treat Andrew right after they move to London, Andrew is happy to leave the relationship.
As I’m typing this article now, Alex and Andrew are breaking up. In my opinion, Andrew is smart. Obviously, he came to London for the career opportunity, not for Alex. When he realized that the relationship couldn’t work anymore, he left Alex as his plans were not dependent on Alex. Clearly, strong men put their dreams first not out of ego, but out of their own desire to conquer life.
If a life choice doesn’t benefit your true self, every move you make based on a whim or for a guy’s love will prove ill-fated. Your gay partner’s goals should line up with your goals, not the other way around.
Becoming too routine
When you are single, you probably long for the mundane activities that couples do. Truthfully, most couples are very boring – they rarely go out and have fun because they spend most of their time at home.
A guy who wastes his prime years doing the same activities every day will feel uninteresting, unloved and unattractive sooner or later.
As I see it, dating is more important in a gay relationship than when you are single. If you and your gay partner are not going out, there is a problem because lack of excitement is bad for any romantic relationship.
In reality, you shouldn’t have to tell a guy how to love you, yet the way he is acting might be how he shows his love and affection. If sitting on the couch, both you and your partner are staring at your cell phones is how you spend most nights and weekends, then you have to upgrade your social life. Rather than scrolling your Facebook timeline to find something to do in your local area, just do it. You deserve to be pampered, taken out and traditionally romanced by your partner.
Apart from that, many couples talk; they don’t communicate. Let me give you this analogy: talking is the crust, whereas communication is the filling. As you stick with the crust, you can’t see what the pie is made of – you are in love with a basic ingredient that everyone has, i.e. a buttery flaky top layer only.
You talk to co-workers at work, yet you wouldn’t say you are close to them, for you know there is a limit to how much you share with most of your co-workers.
Talking is pretty safe, as you don’t need to let anyone in. In contrast, communication requires you letting somebody in on your issues and your doubts – that requires courage and vulnerability.
At least 50% of gay relationships and 60% of straight relationships stay at the talking level, i.e. the safe level, because most people only delve deeper when pushed to an argument or a conflict. Sad but true.
(Yes, you read that right – gay relationships are actually more stable and sustainable than straight relationships, as evidenced by the fact that heterosexual relationships have a much higher breakup / divorce rate than gay relationships!)
If you don’t give your partner truecommunication, he will not spill his feelings either.
Quote: “By allowing your partner to remain emotionally lazy, you are telling him it’s okay. Before losing yourself in this guy’s positives, please push yourself to discover his negatives and then be brave enough to communicate what should be improved.”